I made a loose policy when I started this blog not to apologize for absences or delays between posts. I can’t count the number of letters, emails, and texts that I’ve begun by saying, “It’s been way too long since I last wrote” or “Sorry it’s taken so long for me to reply.” I didn’t like the thought of all my blog posts starting that way, and I wanted to keep my posting schedule flexible. However, in this case, I feel that an explanation of my absence is fitting.
A second little one is on the way! While I can’t praise God enough for the wonder of this new blessing, this second pregnancy has been harder on me physically and emotionally. The fatigue has really gotten to me this time, and blogging (along with many other things) took a backseat to free up space for naps. Additionally, the emotional drain of the fatigue left me less interested in exploring fun ideas for the blog.
I can’t say yet whether I am back to stay or just popping in to share a short poem before another months-long break. But I am back for today. The second trimester seems to be bringing more energy with it, though I’m scared to take anything for granted at this point.
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This is a poem about fatigue. It’s about those days when the simplest task feels like an insurmountable wall–a wall that’s insurmountable but must be scaled nonetheless. It’s about the times when you feel like you’re already at maximum capacity just performing the bare essentials of life, and the thought of one more thing makes you want to collapse.
And it’s a poem about the comfort of the Gospel. I don’t always understand how these fit together. The relief of the Gospel may not make me feel better or give the longed-for boost of energy. But the comfort is true. Christ provides the one thing needful that shall not be taken away (Luke 10:42). He gives me Himself. Even when I feel unable to give anymore, He will not cease to give to me through His Word and Sacraments. “No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly,” the psalmist reminds us (84:11). Sometimes energy feels like a good thing that God is withholding from me. But my God, whose “power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Cor. 12:9), will give what is good in His good timing. “The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want” (Ps. 23:1).
One More Thing
My body longs for sleep again,
Although the day’s half spent.
Just half the day but all my strength.
I wonder where it went.
I’ve hardly finished any tasks,
The work is just begun,
And yet I groan to think of more,
Of one more thing, just one.
~
The smallest task now seems so large –
Too large when strength is small.
The weight of work that once was light
Now makes me stagger, fall.
“I can’t!” I cry, but know I will,
For this too must be done.
I look in vain to find the strength
For one more thing, just one.
~
His Word, His Sacrament: my hope.
For here is all I need.
The one thing needful – not a work
But gift that’s given to me.
The Lord’s my Shepherd, though I walk
Through darker vales today.
He makes me rest, prepares a feast;
He comforts all the way.
I shall not want when He is near;
My Shepherd will provide.
I’m built, sustained, and nourished
By the fountain from His side.
And though I may not feel the strength,
Or see unmasked His face,
His blood and water flow for me –
Salvation, life, and grace.
He has supplied my every need.
In Him my work is done.
No good thing by Him withheld,
Not one good thing, not one.
Coram Mundo 